Written and designed by the staff of the Center for Teaching and Learning. Reproduce with permission only.
If you're gay or bisexual, you're still a person. People think of it as a lifestyle choice, and they find it very difficult to understand once they find out someone's gay. It's funny, you hear people say, "Well I've never known a gay person." I laugh and I say, "You certainly have. If you went to school with more than a hundred people, chances are you knew one gay person.
Sexual orientation is one of the sources of "invisible" diversity in your classroom. The invisibility of this minority can bring with it particular pressures for the students involved. A gay man or a lesbian woman must decide whether or not to "come out" to the class, and each choice presents them with specific problems: if they decide it is too dangerous to do so, they must create a persona in class that fits the heterosexual norm. These students are in the position of having to lie about the normal events in life that any other college student makes the topic of daily conversation, such as how they plan to spend the weekend, whom they are dating, what the "ideal mate" might be like. If a student decides to "come out" to the class, he or she may face open hostility in class. Snickers, overtly homophobic comments and bald statements of distaste for these students are still widely condoned in the classroom, even in a culture that no longer accepts such language or actions about racial or gender differences. Such comments come amid a climate of hostility and often in a situation where the student is still struggling with his or her sexual orientation.
Homophobic statements or actions in class may occur more often in humanities classes such as english, psychology, sociology, anthropology, political science or foreign languages because students are often encouraged to discuss their personal responses to controversial topics in these classes. However, even in science or math courses, informal conversations among students while working together may give rise to potentially hurtful comments. The ground rules of your class are very important in such situations to keep discussions civil and to avoid stressful interactions between your students (see Chapter 2). Any derogatory comment made by a peer can make further work with that person very difficult for the gay or lesbian student, and can lead to a perception on the part of that student that he or she is not welcome as a member of the class. This may have a great impact on that student's ability to absorb class material, and may also affect his or her willingness to consider entering a field where the norm seems to expressly exclude gays, lesbians or bisexuals.
It is important to realize just how
"invisible" this kind of diversity is, and that there will likely
be quite a number of gay or lesbian students in your classes, of which you may
never be aware. The simple guidelines below are designed to make interactions
between you and gay or lesbian students easier and less threatening and your
class atmosphere far more comfortable for everyone.
significant other or partner not boyfriend or girlfriend (this forces "coming out")
sexual orientation not sexual preference (this implies people are gay just for the fun of it. Gay and lesbian people do not feel they have chosen this: this is who they are by nature).
not lifestyle
(again, this implies choice. As one man put it:
"Living on a lake is a lifestyle, being gay is a life.")
Quotes from interviews with B-GLAD
members on UNC's campus
"The professor who was presenting was just assuming that the entire class—that his or her audience was all straight, that no one there was gay, lesbian or bisexual. That's something that needs to be handled and avoided because it really does alienate the members of your audience who are gay, lesbian or bisexual."
"In a course when we were talking about Greeks, and we were talking about the way homosexuality was viewed in Greek and Roman culture. [The professor] would always use the term "they," but not in referring to the Greeks, but only to homosexuals. He used "they" [because] it makes him a whole lot more comfortable saying "they" because he's heterosexual. He thinks that by making himself more comfortable, he's making his audience more comfortable because he assumes that they're all straight. And it does make an all-straight audience more comfortable, you know. At the same time the members of his class who are gay—it's not conducive to [their] learning. Especially if you're already dealing with trouble over your orientation. It's even harder if you have to deal with it being brought up like this in class, and have that alienation reinforced in the classroom. "
"It's easy to assume that you're dealing with it in the abstract when no one's talking about it. Professors need to understand that they can't just deal with the problem in the abstract anymore."
"I would tell all young teachers that they have to assume before they ever open the door that there are hidden minorities in the classroom. You know you can pretty easily tell how many African Americans you have, how many women you have, how many people of color, how many white men you have- you can't tell what people's political ideologies are [or] what people's sexual orientation is, [and] you often can't tell what people's disabilities are. You may know in advance that you have a learning disabled student, but often you won't know, you have to assume before you walk through that door, that those people are there. They call it "the heterosexual assumption"—you assume everyone's straight. You have to change that assumption and wipe it out and walk in the door being totally open to the idea that you do have hidden minorities in your classes. Also, in course planning be sensitive to the hidden minorities. "
"I had one class [where the topic was marriage and family] and it took me most of the semester before I was able to talk about non-traditional families. The professor was asking about who people were going to marry, and what they were looking for in a spouse, and she asked me-I raised my hand; this was going to be my big coming out moment-she said, "So what would you be looking for in a woman as far as sharing responsibilities?" I said, "Well first, I wouldn't be looking for a woman," and she didn't skip a beat, which is good, because I thought some of the people in the class did. I always gauge my professors for that and I felt that I was gauging her safely. It might have tripped her up a little bit, but she made every effort to make it look like it didn't trip her up. She had actually planned to do a section on nontraditional families but still, just the assumption that when you're talking to a student they're going to be marrying a person of the opposite sex, that they're going to be marrying period, is an assumption most professors make. But if a student is in a class with role models, and looking for a way to fit into a subject, in history or sociology (women have known this for a long time), if you use only male-oriented language, you know "he, he, he, he, he," you start not seeing yourself in the picture, and that's the same thing happening to most gay people. It doesn't involve that much of a change in the language to make that much of a change. To say "your partner" or "your significant other" - yeah it's a few more syllables, but you know, what's the cost? It's small, to make sure that you're including all of your students in the conversation. "
"It does happen that someone snickers or "oooh's" or something like that. "
"We had discussion sections and the topic of homosexuality came up and there were some snickers and stuff, and the discussion leader sort of laughed along with it, and didn't address the topic or situation at all. Instead of at the very least saying "Well, you know, you have to have respect," and making some comment to waylay that heterosexist behavior, instead he just sort of went along with it. He probably felt the same way, or uncomfortable standing up to it. The result is the same, there needs to be some education, some way to be more responsive. "
"I hear comments all the time. In class, they make fag jokes, [they do so] on campus and in general. That's really hard to deal with. If I was a lesbian, or I was gay or bisexual, and I was sitting in that class and I heard that-you know, people are exposed to that throughout their entire life. I've heard from all my friends how hard their lives have been from hearing negative comments like that. You hear it in the media, you hear it candidly in conversation. "
"There was mention of homosexual themes in this course [I was taking], and people would snicker, you know. They joked around "oh yeah, two guys, fags" you know, using that word. And the teacher kind of glossed over it. The instructor really didn't do anything about it. I wish that person had really handled it very assertively in making some comment towards diversity or pluralism, or even some of the historical basis of it. I wish that [the professor] had more training in that sort of thing, even to be able to handle the situation. Because the class got unruly, and I really don't feel that the professor had control of the class for the rest of the period. People kept making jokes, I'm sure that one or two people felt very uncomfortable in that class. I felt uncomfortable because nothing was said, and I wish I could have stood up in the class and said "It's not a funny issue, it's a real life issue and chances are that you know someone who's gay." The glossing over of [the fag jokes] in class was very detrimental to anybody in class because that's what perpetuates it. When we ignore the problem, the problem is perpetuated. "
"Another thing that [really bothers me] is when a person stands up or is going to respond to a question in class and the first thing they say is "I'm not gay, but" That is just as heterosexist and homophobic as calling someone a faggot, or a dyke or whatever. Most people don't even think about it that way. You know, it makes me want to stand up and say "I'm not straight, but-"
"I have had quite a few people say "significant other" instead of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" that can make a difference. It really indicates that the professor is aware of the fact that there is a variety of relationships, including gay relationships etc. "Boyfriend" and "girlfriend" is still inclusive, but at the same time "significant other" has other resonances. It's not as traditional, it doesn't sound as intimate as girlfriend or boyfriend does, it sounds a lot more scientific or technical, but at the same time it does make a difference. It's so wild how those simple phrases, those little things can make a difference. "
"Other terminology that can definitely be avoided is "sexual preference." That makes a lot of people very uncomfortable. It's "sexual orientation." Because preference indicates the choice causation- that you know, they chose to be gay and they prefer this lifestyle. "Lifestyle" is another word that needs to be avoided. Because living on a lake is a lifestyle, being gay, lesbian or bisexual is a life. There's a difference. Every single human being on this earth has a unique lifestyle; that's what it comes down to. You cannot generalize about an entire population, whether they be straight or gay. "Lifestyle" and "sexual preference" indicates a choice. Most people who have come to terms with themselves have already been through all of that, have been through this trying to change process and all of the pain that causes: [they] can tell you that it's impossible to stop being gay. It's like being "ex-straight" you know: "I overcame those emotions, and now I'm gay."
"There was a class in which AIDS and sexual practices came up. A topic that came up was about some sexual practices that happen between gay men, and high-risk dangerous ones that came up, and it sort of upset me that it wasn't addressed that not all gay men participate in those sorts of activities. In a very, very subtle sense I felt that gay men were still being demonized for spreading the AIDS virus."
"It's tough [to deal with such issues in class]. I think that HIV should be an issue dealt with in the classroom. The only thing that kind of grabbed me about [an exam the student had to take] was that I thought it was a little stereotypical that the one time we really focused on a gay couple, one of them dies from AIDS instead of having a gay couple live together for 20 years or 30 years and one of them dies of old age. AIDS has now become an equal opportunity infector. It could have dealt with an unmarried straight couple- you've got a lot of the same issues in there. "
"The worst thing about being gay is that the coming-out process is an ongoing process all your life. Most people consider that when you come out, you come out to your parents, and most of your closest friends know and you're not worried about- you're not harboring that horrible fear that the next person you meet is going to know that you are gay, that's usually when you are "out" when you are past that fear. BUT it is an ongoing process because every time you meet a professor or a TA- it comes up eventually, especially if you are around them a lot you're going to have to come out. If they don't already know, you're going to have to let them know. For example if you're gay, and you're having relationship problems and it's affecting your grade and you go and sit down to talk to your TA about it, or your professor, and you say, "Look, I'm having problems in my personal life and having trouble finishing this paper." If you have to go into specifics, you worry about how they are going to react. That's hard to deal with. Especially if you feel you have to lie, like a lot of people feel they have to do, and say "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" just because of that fear of a homophobic reaction. This is always, always a possibility in the mind of a gay, bisexual or lesbian student: being discriminated against by the administration, or a professor, just because they're gay. Even though there's a policy against discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, that doesn't mean that it doesn't still go on. "
"I can't imagine not being able to be who I am. You know, not being able to express my feelings openly in public. Even if you're out, that's a real hard thing too. In general, the general population, if they see two men walking across campus holding hands, they're pointed at, you stare. You have to deal with it. You know it happens to handicapped people all the time, it happens to inter-racial couples. It's all pretty much discrimination. Discrimination plays itself out in different ways. "
"I've been called "faggot" on campus. I've had death threats phoned in on my answering machine and things like that."
"[In one undergraduate class] it just naturally came up in class discussion. The professors were really approachable- they were able to see parallels between discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and discrimination on the basis of gender and race. When we were discussing the importance of women in history, they were able to see the fact that gays and lesbians are often erased from history as well. For the first time I felt really comfortable speaking out on gay and lesbian issues in the classroom. When I'm in the classroom, I always have a red flag go up saying "Is it appropriate? Is it appropriate?" when I know perfectly well, when I can see the connections myself. In fact often I feel like people are going to feel like I'm throwing it in their face, and that I have an agenda. I do to some degree, but I don't bring it up unless I feel it's relevant and I see a connection. I've actually caught myself deliberately not saying something even though I thought it was appropriate. "
"Overall, especially over the years, although you may not be harassed in particular, you may run into it today, and maybe in another month later, and then the next year. It builds up and it just a level of frustration develops and you feel as if you're being harassed, even though it's not coming from any one person in particular. It can make the whole learning environment difficult. It's something that I've come into contact with enough so that I felt like, my educational experience was impaired by it. Because I was just always on the defensive, and I was always looking behind me to see if someone was pointing. I developed a thick skin- some people drop out. I've known people who have dropped out. Overall I think my reception here has been not hostile, but not receptive. If I was going to err, I would err toward the side of hostility among classmates. This is the first time most students meet people who are openly gay. They don't know how [to react], and so I give them allowance for the first semester. But after they've been here for two or three years, there's just not much of an excuse for it."
"I know of so many tenured faculty members, gay and lesbian tenured faculty members in a social setting, who are not out on campus at all. They are worried about the respect of their peers. They don't have anything to lose job-wise, I feel, but they feel that they would lose their peers' respect. Proactive statements on the part of faculty would make a big difference. Even if it's just symbolic- students here need more "out" gay faculty. There's gay faculty here, but not "out" gay faculty. Proactive stances taken by faculty members who are in positions of power, and straight faculty members to say that "We are supportive, we are not going to take action against someone who is gay," would be helpful. "
"I think group discussion plays a very big role in [making people comfortable enough to stand up and say things should be different]. It depends on how big a class it is. In class of 200 people that's not really possible, but maybe breaking up into small groups. For me, [it was important] just having a chance to speak out, and not having to raise my hand and say "Well this is what I want to say," but having an opportunity- being provided the opportunity to say something in class, in group discussion."
"In the best class I've ever been in we always sat in a circle, and we were facing each other. In the beginning I was very, very uncomfortable, we were all staring at each other, and we all didn't really know each other. But a large part of our grade was discussion, and a large part of the class was discussion. A lot of it was us giving presentations, and breaking up into smaller groups, and I think that really is what helps people to make their views known. It takes a while; some people are more apt to speak out and some people aren't, but it kind of gives everyone a chance to say something. That's probably the best thing- it helps the students feel important, like what they have to say is important."
"[Homosexuality issues] are coming up more and more. It's become a focus of national debate with gays in the military, gays in history, all of these things are going to be coming up in some dramatic fashion in the classroom. The University just got a $170,000 grant for devising a Gay and Lesbian Studies Program, and that's going to become a huge topic of debate when those courses actually begin. We're going to see campus tensions rise, and a lot of discussions going on about it and professors may have to deal with this in the classroom, in any classroom, even those that don't have that as a topic. Especially during Awareness Week, Celebration Week. You're going to have a lot of people wearing gay T-shirts, and they're going to be identifying themselves as gay openly for the first time. They're going to walk into their Poli Sci class and probably surprise a lot of people, and there'll be murmuring and snickers. I know a TA who wore a T-shirt to teach his class and he got some questions, and some raised eyebrows, and some snickers. And he was supposed to be in charge of that class."
"Including, where appropriate, gay and lesbian people in literature, in history, in education, in science and mentioning tit's similar to the African American experience: mentioning that someone was African American empowers people in the class, it really gets them interested. Mentioning that a common author is gay may be scary to someone, because you wonder, "Is it appropriate?" Well, figure out a way to bring it in that is appropriate. It's a challenge. When you're dealing with literature, with people of different cultures, it's perfectly appropriate to say when a gay author has made contributions. It takes some extra work, but it's worthwhile because it will include some people in your class who aren't used to feeling included. That's a really important thing, especially if you get them interested in the subject. You may help people to actually pursue your subject if they feel, like "Wow, there's some space for me here." It's appropriate in a lot more places than people might think."
"You've got valid experiences. Something that can be included is that you can bring in your experiences and draw parallels with those of your students. Look for parallels- you know you may not be gay yourself, but you may have been in a relationship that people didn't approve of or your parents may have rejected you for one reason or another, and you know how that feels. You've got to draw the parallels, even though you may not see it right off the bat, they're there. Because the two are really the same. So if you're having trouble understanding where this is all coming from, you can usually draw from your own experiences even though they seem different at first."
home / teaching for inclusion / publications / email
Last Updated: January 30, 2001